A wide sea of eyes…

A list of things I want in my next relationship

Archive for the category “humour”

Eight: A Yes-Man

Why be in a relationship unless you are doing things together that you enjoy?  I don’t understand people who are fun spoilers, the speed bumps on the road to good times.

Being in a relationship should be fun.  Everyone has a different idea about what fun is and that’s okay.  But if the person you are with is constantly coming up with reasons to say no to what you want to do then it’s time to ask yourself, “Why am I with such a Negative Nancy/Ned?”  

Life should be easier.  It shouldn’t be that hard to have a good time.  Being in a couple should be about making life better, smoother, and a lot more fun.

I’m not talking about taking huge out of character risks.  No one is saying you have to sky dive or bungee jump to have a good time.  How hard is it to say yes to a movie, a concert, a walk or a dinner party?  It’s even more fun to say yes to a trip, a mountain hike, or a roller coaster, but to each his own.

It’s about having an attitude of willingness.  Showing some positivity.  Getting your ass off the couch, looking your partner in the eye and making a plan to do something you both enjoy…together.

This is fun couple vocabulary:

Do you want to live a fun-filled life full of everyday adventures, joy and happiness? Then try saying “YES!”  It’s really not that hard.

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Seven: Hugs, Lots and lots of hugs…

Oh hugs…

cuddle on the couch hugs, wrapped in a blanket hugs, one-armed hugs, soft hugs, firm hugs, lift you up hugs, hugs with kisses, hugs with hair stroking, back patting hugs, bum squeezing hugs, foreheads touching hugs, good morning hugs, good-bye hugs, I missed you hugs, I wish you could stay hugs, spooning hugs, playful hugs, jumping up and down hugs, spinning around hugs, falling down hugs, hugs with kids in between, protective hugs, I’m sorry hugs, I forgive you hugs, I’m here for you hugs, I love you hugs…

There is nothing better than a pair of big arms that pull you in and wrap around you, holding you in so that you can breathe in his perfect scent, feel his warmth and let the worries of the day melt away.

Yeah that’s what I’m talking about.

And now it’s time for some funny images about hugs:

These are (obviously) from http://www.someecards.com and in my humble opinion are freaking hilarious.

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Six: Attractive to me Part One

Of course appearance matters.  Of course it does!  Why deny it?  A guy can be all kinds of fantastic things but if the thought of kissing him makes me think, “Ew” then it is never going to work.

Does that mean I want a guy who looks like one of these guys?

Um…well…sort of, but not really.  Their six packs intimidate me.  I have a six pack too…but my six pack is in the cooler.   Just looking at their pictures makes me want to adjust my shirt as I sit in my comfies snacking and blogging.

I totally accept that at this point in life that my man may have a belly or a bald head…or both.  He will have eye crinkles and a few scars from earlier times.  His knees make creek and his back many give out now and then.  That’s all okay. Honestly!  I really mean it!

Sometimes a person can be totally hot just because their personality makes them so.  Those people are not very photogenic but there is just something about them that is so darn attractive.

Remember this guy?

Javier Bardem is not conventionally handsome is he?
But he oozes sexiness.

Or how about this guy?

Chris O’Dowd is also not typically handsome but he is a cutie-pie!

Both the above actors have awesome accents which bring on a ton of sex appeal. But they also have an honest to goodness attractiveness that comes across on film when they play likeable characters.  I don’t think either of these dudes sport six packs but who the hell cares?  They are soooo cute and sexy in live action.  I bet they smell good too.

Okay so let’s put Hollywood actors aside.  What am I looking for in real life?  Here is a brief list:

1.  Nice teeth – not perfectly white and straight but clean-looking white and straight, know what I mean?  Generally men who take care of their teeth also have good breath which can be a deal maker or breaker.

2.  Taller than me – this isn’t asking for much since I am 5′ 5″ but I want to be able to wear heels whenever I feel like being all girly and stuff.

3.  Smells amazing – On this one I need to be careful.  I have known some really great smelling men who were also what we would call bad boys.  Their smell was intoxicating and we all know the bad decisions we make when we are intoxicated. Sheesh.

4.  A certain je ne sais quois – he is attractive because there is just something that I can’t put my finger on.  Something about his personality, his sense of humour, his friendly, positive, up beat, cool, unique personality that comes across in his facial expressions.  I don’t know how to describe it but I sure know it when I see it.  Sigh.

So there you have it.  It’s a pretty short list.  I don’t think I am asking for a lot.  I am not looking for Hollywood handsome.  I just want someone who is attractive to me.

Now that I am done writing this post for today I think I will go do some sit ups. Seriously.

Five: Communication

http://www.visualphotos.com/image/1×7777336/old_couple_talking_to_each_other

I am picturing my future self sitting on the front porch with my partner.  We are both very old.  Our children are grown and no longer live under our roof.  They are in happy relationships of their own, living good lives, have found satisfying careers, have maintained great friendships, and are giving us the cutest grandchildren EVER!

In this snapshot of my future I am talking with my guy.  We have spent years talking to each other and still think that spending time in intimate conversation is one of our favourite things to do together.

I don’t know what we are talking about because the subject doesn’t matter.  It’s just nice to share our unique perspectives on the world.  We have told each other our darkest most innermost thoughts over the years and know that we can say anything to each other.  We have shared things that no one else knows, and have protected each other’s secrets.

We’ve had our share of disagreements as all couples do.  But we are the type of people who respect each other in our arguments.  We know the boundaries and do not cross those hurtful, destructive lines.  At least we try not too.  Sometimes we make mistakes and say the wrong thing.  But it doesn’t take much for us to apologize and fix what we broke.

Our talks make us feel good, make us better people, help us to feel loved and valued.  We know that few people have that kind of connection and that we are so very lucky to have someone to talk to.  Our children model with their partners this same intimate pattern of communicating.

In a wide sea of eyes, there is one pair into which I can see understanding, respect and admiration.  Sometimes a look is all that is needed to communicate that we are loved.

Four: Trust

Trust – It makes me sad to write this post because it forces me to remove my rose-coloured glasses and take a good look around.  When I do that, I see a lot of assholes.  Why would I want to see those guys everywhere?

I had a real pair of rose-coloured glasses, Janis Joplin style, as a ten-year old that I wore with a poncho and flared jeans. I thought the world was a very cool place in those days.

I love looking at the world through my “rose coloured’ glasses.  I like to see the good in others, even the ones who have done me some wrong.  I suppose I give people too many chances and wait too long to recognize that someone doesn’t deserve my trust.  I know that I am too naive.  I know that I shouldn’t always take what people say at face value.

I could be a little less trusting…

Trust does have to be balanced with some street smarts so that I don’t end up in a nasty van with an axe murderer.

I may be a little too trusting, and I need to be more careful about who I put my faith in, but I actually like that about myself.  I like seeing the good in others, I really do!

I am going to buy myself an adult pair of rose-coloured glasses this week and I am going to wear them happily.  That will be a little gift to myself, a visual reminder that the world is a good place and there are still lots of truly trustworthy folk in it.

Eventually I will meet a person worthy of my trust no matter what lenses I am looking through.

Two: A sense of humour

There is nothing more attractive that a guy who is funny.  Seriously.  It’s easy to overlook a bit of weight or receding hair if the dude makes me laugh.  Take Kevin James for example (Yes, the Mall Cop, the King of Queens, that’s the one).  He is sweet and funny and that is damn cute.

 

Adorable right?

When I looked for a picture of this guy I had a hard time finding one in which he wasn’t smiling.  I have a thing for teeth too but there’ll be more on that later…

There are different kinds of humour like there are different kinds of intelligence.  Check out this article

 http://laughing-stalk.blogspot.ca/2010/02/understanding-7-different-types-of.html

I don’t like a guy who finds humour at the expense of others – the prankster, someone who puts down others, sarcastic and mocking humour which is more popular in the media these days.  You can be funny without being nasty.

And I don’t like clichés or corny – how boring!   I want to scream, “Get some new material already!”

I do like a dash of silly, a bit of self-deprecation, some irony and a great story.  My humour is very situational – in the moment.  I like stupid comedies – done well.  I love witty one liners – a joke that catches me by surprise.

I believe that you can be the owner of more than one type of humour.  I am looking for that comedy cocktail that will keep things fresh and hilarious.

Although I am not about to hit the comedy circuit myself, I do make it a point to make someone laugh everyday.  So I want to be in a relationship where our sense of humour completely gels.

When we are old, fat and too tired to get off the front porch, I want to be able to laugh until our teeth fall out.  Then laugh harder because…well…our teeth fell out!

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