A wide sea of eyes…

A list of things I want in my next relationship

Archive for the tag “family”

Twelve: A team player

You don’t have to be an athlete, but you do need to know how to be a team player to be successful in a relationship with me.

A person can learn a lot from participating on a sports team.  However, it is not a guarantee that you will be a team player in a relationship.  I have known many athletes who can be selfish players and have trouble getting along in relationships because they don’t know how to be part of a two person team.

The flip side of that is that there are people who have not had the benefit of playing organized sports, but still know how to make a positive contribution to the “team”.  The experience of playing team sports is great, but it is not the only way to learn how to be part of a team.  I can see it from both sides.  I learned the value of team play much later in life, and my children are all very active in team sports.

So what does it mean to play on team WSOE (Wide Sea Of Eyes)?

Being on the WSOE team means:

  • read my entire blog (just kidding…but seriously, read it)
  • treat me as an equal
  • respect my opinions
  • communicate your own opinions
  • being an active participant in the relationship
  • be flexible
  • be positive
  • know how to give and take
  • cheer for his team members!

Here are a couple of pictures of one of my little athletes.  The first picture was taken when he was just getting started and now he is quite a skater.  He is a great sportsman and will one day be a terrific partner to someone.  He is one of the fortunate people who is growing up  playing a sport he loves, but that is not enough for him to learn the important skills needed to be a part of a relationship team.   As his mother/coach/cheerleader, it is my goal that he will learn those skills and be happy in his own future relationships.  I am hopeful that this will happen.  He has his own personal coach after all!

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Ten: Supportive


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There’s no question about it.  Life can be a challenge.  There are people in our lives who can be difficult and test our patience, our resilience, and our confidence.

I’m not going to say that the world is full of hurtful people or that I run into too many jerks in my life.  That is too negative and I am not about that.  I am just gong to say that there are some people who make life unnecessarily difficult.

I will never understand why they do that, why they create a problem when none existed, why they over react to minor issues or why they feel envious of people who are happy.  Who knows why and quite frankly, who cares?  It is too exhausting to try to get into the heads of some people.  I am just going to say that those people don’t need to be around me.

Go away negative people!  You try to bring others down in order to make yourself feel good.  You don’t have the self-confidence required to be happy in your own life so when you see someone who has it good, you go for the jugular in a futile effort to

bring

them

down.

How misguided is that?  It’s a flawed formula for personal happiness.

Go and find your folk, like-minded cranky pants-es like yourselves and leave me to live in Lanaworld – a world where there is beauty in nature, joy in children, and warmth in connecting with good people over a cold beer, tasty snacks and some good music.

This blog post is about being in a relationship where there is support for one another.  Like it or not, I am going to run into these  toxic people.  Those are the days when I need someone to have my back.  I need him to rally behind me and say, “Hey!  That’s not fair!” and “You didn’t deserve that!” and “No matter what happens, I am here for you.”

“I’ve got your back.”

Powerful words aren’t they?  How lovely to hear them.  It feels so good to have someone to count on.  It feels awesome to be able to give that support in return.  A relationship should create a soft place to land at the end of the day, and at the same time be the rock solid foundation on which you go about your busy days.

It’s important to me to be the kind of person who supports others whenever I can.   I believe you get what you give, so why not give the best gift of all?  Give yourself.

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