A wide sea of eyes…

A list of things I want in my next relationship

Archive for the tag “life”

Twelve: A team player

You don’t have to be an athlete, but you do need to know how to be a team player to be successful in a relationship with me.

A person can learn a lot from participating on a sports team.  However, it is not a guarantee that you will be a team player in a relationship.  I have known many athletes who can be selfish players and have trouble getting along in relationships because they don’t know how to be part of a two person team.

The flip side of that is that there are people who have not had the benefit of playing organized sports, but still know how to make a positive contribution to the “team”.  The experience of playing team sports is great, but it is not the only way to learn how to be part of a team.  I can see it from both sides.  I learned the value of team play much later in life, and my children are all very active in team sports.

So what does it mean to play on team WSOE (Wide Sea Of Eyes)?

Being on the WSOE team means:

  • read my entire blog (just kidding…but seriously, read it)
  • treat me as an equal
  • respect my opinions
  • communicate your own opinions
  • being an active participant in the relationship
  • be flexible
  • be positive
  • know how to give and take
  • cheer for his team members!

Here are a couple of pictures of one of my little athletes.  The first picture was taken when he was just getting started and now he is quite a skater.  He is a great sportsman and will one day be a terrific partner to someone.  He is one of the fortunate people who is growing up  playing a sport he loves, but that is not enough for him to learn the important skills needed to be a part of a relationship team.   As his mother/coach/cheerleader, it is my goal that he will learn those skills and be happy in his own future relationships.  I am hopeful that this will happen.  He has his own personal coach after all!

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Nine: Worldly

Recently I went on a date.

He was super nice and went all out to plan a special meeting.  It was a picnic by the river.  He paid attention to the food I liked (in this case Asian) and made a big effort to bring a few special dishes.  He even purchased little Asian style dishes and chop sticks and served the food on a pretty Asian style table cloth.  For dessert he brought strawberries and gave me a little gold box of high quality chocolate wrapped in a golden bow.  So sweet.  It could have been the beginning of something awesome, right?  A romantic tale to tell of how we started out as a couple.  Sigh.

I knew instantly that he wasn’t the guy for me.  There were a lot of reasons why this nice guy was not going to be my next guy but the one I want to talk about today is that he hadn’t done much in his life.  He was a wanna be.

He wanted to travel.  He wanted to eat sushi.  He wanted to have adventures.  He wanted a dog.  He wanted a girl to take him places, to teach him about exotic food, and to open up his world.

So why hadn’t he already done some of that himself?  I mean, how hard is it to get a dog?

A little while ago I made a life list or some call it a bucket list.  I was going for 100+ things and was running out of ideas.  So I looked around on the internet at other people’s lists for inspiration.  It was a good idea because as I read other lists it was like, “Oh yeah!  I want to do that too!”

But as I read more and more lists I began to notice that I have already completed a lot of things that other people  have as their goals.  Like:  sleep on the beach, climb a mountain, ride a camel, ziplining, sea kayaking, white water rafting, scuba diving, and visit many of the world’s landmarks and exotic places.

It felt really good to be able to look back and say, “Hey!  I’ve done some stuff!”  

I want to meet someone who also has done stuff.  That is what makes life a little less boring and it is what makes people more interesting.  I want to be entertained by his stories and have him listen attentively to my tales.   I could take him kayaking or on a mountain hike; he could introduce me to motorcycles or sailing, or whatever.  Then we could make a new plan to try something that is unique for both of us.

I don’t want to have to make all the plans and have to hold someone’s hand as he follows me around the world.  That feels too much like parenting, “Now hold my hand so you don’t get lost honey!”

Echhh.

Speaking of parenting, I am the mother of 3 boys who have travelled more and have had more outdoor adventures than most adults I know.  How can I be expected to date a guy who’s biggest challenge in life is eating a piece of Japanese style fish and hasn’t gotten around to getting himself a pet?

My oldest son and I paddling down a dark creek looking at turtles, whirligig beetles and frogs.

My youngest son standing at 4,626 ft. He is looking at other high peaks, planning which one he will climb next.

My boys have been to both coasts of Canada and the U.S. multiple times.  One time we camped in a tent for 6 weeks while travelling to the West Coast.  They have been to many parts of the US and all 3 of them are planning on back packing around either Europe, Asia or South America (or wherever) when they graduate high school.

(I may have planted that idea in their malleable young minds)

I myself have done a ton of travelling.  I have lived in three third world countries and used those places as jumping off points to see many other cool and interesting places.

I am not trying to toot my own horn.  Lots of people feel that their lives are full and complete by staying near home, close to their friends and family.  I get that.  I am not putting anyone down if that is what makes them happy.  We all need to live the life that makes us the most happy.  I am just saying that if you want to see the world then you should just do it and not wait for someone to take you there.  There is no way I can be with someone who wants that life but hasn’t done anything about living it.

I realize that I am looking for a select individual but I am a very patient gal.  I can wait.  He will turn up eventually.  Until then I will continue to live my extraordinary life.  I encourage anyone who reads this blog post to take stock of their life.  Are you living the life that makes you the most happy?  Do you need to do some stuff to make your life happier?

I will finish this post with a quote from one of my favourite songs from one of my favourite musicians:

“My shoes have kicked up dust from here to somewhere else,

Is this wanderlust or runnin’  from myself?”

The Pilgrim, by Sam Roberts

P.S.  I am still a new blogger but as I write this post, my stats say that my blog has been read by people in 17 different countries.  So please feel free to share your adventures from around the world.  Or just say hello in your language!  Cheers everyone!

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